


if only i could see you smile one last time

by Hauno



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, Married Couple, warning for a slight description of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-20 12:37:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12432999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hauno/pseuds/Hauno
Summary: Maki thinks she's prepared for everything. She isn't.





	if only i could see you smile one last time

Maki had just began to get accustomed to her job at her family’s hospital. During her training as a nurse; she’d start feeling quite ill whenever she saw patients that had any amount of blood or other fluids on them. Now, she was as emotionally dull as ever. That’s just the life of a doctor, she thinks. There wasn’t a single thing that Maki was not prepared to see in her time at the hospital. Usually, things weren’t too bad; a child with chickenpox would come in, someone with the flu, someone fell out of a tree… Other days, though, it would be worse. Car accidents, fatal injuries… Maki feared those days; not out of disgust, but she was surprisingly empathetic towards patients. She would do her best to make sure that her patients were not suffering during their time at her hospital.

 

“Doctor Nishikino, you’re needed at the floor. It’s an emergency,” one of her nurses calls. Instantly, Maki sets down her cup of coffee and gets up out of her office, rushing down to the emergency room. She thinks that it might not be an emergency; as people who are just sick love to come in all the time. A simple misunderstanding and they think they’re dying. She adjusts her glasses and walks into the room.

 

No matter how much training Maki’s had; nothing would ever prepare her for the sight that she would see on this day. In the emergency room waiting for her was her wife; Honoka Kousaka; laying on the bed. There was blood splattered all over her clothes, pooling down onto sheets of the bed below her, her left arm had been bent in a way that shouldn’t be possible; her bone jutting out from her elbow. Her eyes were shut and her breathing was rugged; there was no way that Honoka was going to make it out of this. Maki knew that. Honoka may have been strong, but she wasn’t strong enough to survive this.

 

Knowing that, Maki lost any last bit of chill that she had in her. She ran over to her wife’s side, clutching her right hand. “HONOKA? HONOKA WHAT HAPPENED-” Maki felt her heart thumping out of her chest, her facade crumbling down around her; her mind got fuzzy and she felt like throwing up. She continued to panic as she tried to ease Honoka’s pain by doing -- whatever she could -- 

 

But it was far too late. She didn’t even get to see Honoka smile one last time.

 

\--

 

“Doctor Nishikino,” another nurse calls. “The officers found this in your wife’s car.” She placed down a horridly-wrapped present with a crooked ribbon on her desk.

 

Maki couldn’t even think of the words to reply with; she had passed the issue over to another fellow doctor who worked with her. All she could do was sit in silence; in numbness; in pure and total despair. 

 

The nurse understood Maki’s feelings and stepped out, closing the door behind her. 

 

Setting her phone down, she shakily sighed -- and then began to cry for the tenth time this day. She would never recover from this. Never. 

 

How could Maki have gotten so wrapped up with work that she forgot to say “happy anniversary” to her own wife? And how could her own wife pass on such a day? She didn’t understand.

 

Maki picked up the present; slightly glancing over at the photo of her and Honoka making dumb faces on her desk. “...Honoka. What was so important that you were driving this way…?”

 

Undoing the ribbon on the present, she tore off the wrapping and peeked inside. Inside was a multitude of things; a box of Maki’s favorite home-made chocolates, Honoka’s special manju; a small box and a note. She took the box first; it had a locket inside of it. Heart shaped and gold. Maki could feel the tears starting to swell in her eyes again, but wiped them away. 

 

She opened the locket. There were two small photos in each side of it; one being of Honoka and one being of herself. She lost it, again, slamming her hand with the locket it in down onto her desk.

 

It took the doctor an hour to recompose herself. At least she was given what the others like to call “emergency break”. 

 

Maki lifted up the note next, and pondered whether she should read it now. It would only destroy her more; but better to do it now than do it while drunk and stupid. 

 

The handwriting was definitely Honoka-like, kiddy and childish with hearts put into the letters wherever she could fit them. 

 

“Maki! My Maki! I know you’ve been super busy lately, not being able to spend any time at home or anything… I just wanted to show my gratitude to you and how thankful I am for you! I got you some of your favorite things! Ehe… minus the coffee. I couldn’t find the best type for you. So I didn’t include it. But I hope that when this gets dropped off to you, you smile! 

 

I love you, Maki! Happy Anniversary!

 

  * Your wife, Honoka-chan.”



 

Maki felt her heart break into pieces. Honoka was everything to her.

 

That would never change. She smiled at the note despite her sobs;

 

“I love you too, Honoka.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> lovelivewriting.tumblr.com <\-- feel free to request some stuff! i love writing angst


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